Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
