girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
