Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
