I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
