I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
