I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
