a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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