I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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