wat bout pragnant strippers??
never play flip cup with pint glasses
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is it penis luge time yet?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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