You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
