i permit you to call me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize