I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
