The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
