he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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