So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
