I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
