If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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