Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
