hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize