also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
