Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
