I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
