With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
