New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
