are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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