the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
