They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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