sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
