haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
