Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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