Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All I want is dick and wine.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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