I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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