We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
