WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
