Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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