You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize