it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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