repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
