this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
