I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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