This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize