oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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