u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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