Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
