i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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