I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize