Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
