I think my fart just growled at me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
