Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
