Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
