We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
