Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
