my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Someone signed my nipple.
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