i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
