I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
