i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's like heaven, but drunker
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
