Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
