Your tits are I can't wait for
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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