Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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