i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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