Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
