Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
