I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
