did you get engaged???
Sponge bath it is.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
