Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
