My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
