i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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