He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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