i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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