Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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