I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
