I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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