Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
